“The Commitment you make to yourself is the most important one you can ever make! ”
Commitment used to be a very scary word for me, I would automatically link this to potential failures, feeling of entrapment and being tied down. But what really is a commitment, we do a lot of them subconsciously each day?
Why are we scared to commit?
We commit to getting up, we commit to going to the bathroom, we commit to our hygiene, we commit to eating 3 times a day or more.. we commit to our friends, social events, work, school and the list goes on. Yes some of these you are probably thinking are more than definitely normal bodily functions and we do them as we know we have to, and we would probably not exist if we didn’t do so, but what if we could make the hassle’s of unwanted commitments as easy as going to the bathroom each morning? In simpler terms, what if we could make them the norm? The norm without having to question, without limiting beliefs popping up, the norm without bringing past or present influences, having an impact on our thoughts around commitment.
As we grow our commitments change. When we’re young our commitments are based around, the toilet, eating and sleeping, then our commitments grow to going to Kindy, beginning to understand life, and the social commitments, learning manners, committing to learning how to ride a bike, going to school, then as we grow into high school, sport, activities, partners, friends, work and the list goes on. But what gets us to that point when we begin to dread commitment? As we get older we have a lot of external influences having an impact on us, our friendship group, media and political views, our own developing views, as we begin to question why, we test the name of commitment, we either commit to committing or we leave for others choices, created by our testing views.
“There’s a difference between interest and commitment.. when you are INTERESTED in doing something you only do it when it is convenient.
When you are COMMITTED to something you accept no excuses, only results”
- Source Unknown”
Think about what scares you, what makes you not want to commit to the commitment? Is it the fact that you might fail at work, that you may not receive the outcome, that you just can’t be bothered, that it doesn’t excite you? For what ever reasoning, think of commitments you love doing, for myself, my commitments presently are to myself, I commit myself to being in an environment, and lifestyle routines that I love, I am committed to my job as it fills me with joy and further more benefits others. Hitting high school was when I started to test my bonds, I started dreading certain subjects at school, as I didn’t like the topic, I began to question the aspect of university and “job life” after school, we are told about all these things we have to do as we get older, as they seem so far away, they slowly creep up and are here before you know it! So what to do when they arrive?
We find ourselves applying for jobs, applying for uni as soon as we leave school, as we were told that is the time line, but for myself and so many friends the apprehension of making this commitment so fast and so close in advance, and having that pin point time being like alright, I need to decide my life right now, and this is what I want to do... 80% of us don’t know what we want to do, and THATS OKAY!! How ever, we have to pin point the difference between not having the passion for something, or the fear of not even trying something out before we know the outcome of our feelings?
When things like this come up, don’t push it, take the time out to sit back and think, what is it that I want to do? I worked my butt off for a good mark after high school, got into my Uni course, but for me, the commitment to jumping into something my heart wasn’t 100% in didn’t sit right, so I chose to go else where, and this was a scary transition. I went from course to course not really knowing if I was in the right place or if this would benefit me in anyway, but anything you do is a learning process, and each bit of information you learn I can assure you will help you, even if it is just a little bit in your future.
Don’t force your commitments, set yourself points that make you happy in life, think of things you can commit to now that are going to bring you benefit now and even more into your future.
Let’s talk the present, my favourite saying is “Do something now, the future you will be thankful for”, So niche your commitments, narrow them down. Are they personal, physical, relationship or work related? For example personal commitments may be to engage in self help practices, give yourself a rest day each week, physical would be in relation to physical activity. Relationship commitments would be making more time for your family and friends, and work related looks at the commitment to engaging in something you would love to do each day, how can you bring your passions into your work? Are you in a passionate job?
Is your job meeting your personal growth, desire to help others as well as your relationships with what ever it is you are doing? sit with that one.
Breaking down the walls of the anxieties around commitments looks at eyeing off the prize, setting and attaching your time to things that are going to make you flourish, not hold you back. Think about what your commitments are now? Are you happy where you are, or just doing them because you think you have to? How can you start to bring flourishing commitments into your life? If you’re a bit stuck simply jot down how you would be feeling if you were committed to everything that made you happy. What would that look like? How would that feel? What could you do right now to help yourself get there?
Don’t be scared to make the change, be excited! We make excuses of being stuck in commitments, but its ultimately our choice for being and taking place in them. So just start! The most important commitment you can ever make, is the commitment you make to yourself!