The Guilt Trip
“I constantly feel as if I’m not doing enough, and if I stop I feel lazy for not utilising my time. I always feel as if there is something I should be doing”
This sentence is a summed version of most of the opening conversations I have with my clients. I want you to take a minute a just see if anything resonated with you within that sentence. You may be laughing thinking “HA yep that is me” or nothing may have popped up for you at all (something below just might be your answer, so keep reading) what part of the above sentence hit home for you?
In a “go go” world it can be very hard to stop. Having to constantly achieve something by the end of the days to feel gratified within ourselves. Of course we must work and get things done to make the “world keep turning” as they say, but on a Core Coaching front, our focus today is a personal one.
“Are you content within your current routines or are they depleting you and tiring you out?”
Are you aware that you are constantly doing without physically being? or my favourite: Are you continually trying to achieve because you are scared of the outcome of when you do actually stop, you’re left to sit with yourself and no achievement from stopping? Take a second and sit with that, what thoughts have immediately popped up for you?
The guilt trip.. a funny concept but is very relevant within our current world. We live lives that are constantly about succeeding through external gratification that we forget the importance of the small elements that we must focus on within ourselves to keep ourselves happy and healthy, to build a better connection with our external living in the long run. May it be work, relationships, eating, exercise you name it, what ever you can see you find a guilty habit pattern within. How much of your time is being taken up by your current habits, do they make you feel good?
“Begin to question your questions.., notice how you are reacting”
Let me ask you this; What do you feel guilty about doing or not doing right now? Without attaching to this question or becoming this thought just simply question it for yourself. This is something I get my clients to do on a daily basis, as well as practice myself when ever I feel as if I’m in a rush and not being within my tasks. We have the two pinnacle self talk questions; 1: “Where am I going and what am I doing” 2: “Is my next step going to nourish me or deplete me”, begin to question your questions and then begin to question your reaction. Do you feel good or do you feel guilty? Neither answer is good or bad but a lesson learnt in awareness for self!
I struggled for years and years and of course still some what do within different areas of my life, with the concept of not doing or achieving enough. Especially within this field always having to provide content, keeping up as well as creating new client programs and sheets, collaborating, writing, doing doing and doing. Building my awareness over the years I take in to account a variety of things when I feel as if my practices are taking over what I actually need to be doing:
My level of tiredness
How passionate I am within the task
My resulting emotions
The benefits or result of the variety of tasks and habits
These steps are essential. We can fill our days, hours, minutes and seconds with anything and everything under the sun, but it’s the amount in which we are truly connected within our moments where we find our own success. Let’s keep it self focused and self nourishing! Goals will never reach a final pinnacle, they serve as a platform for growth and something for us to strive and stay on track! It’s when we feel as if we aren’t with or connected to our habits is when we need to, stop, re-check and re-align where we truly find content within our actions.
You may be having a little sarcastic laugh to yourself in a second, but just take this in. As a society we connect movement or achievement with the word “doing”, that when we physically stop, take rest or lie down we don’t see that as the action or connected mindset concept of doing. The act of stopping is actually “doing” something when you think about it, just like resting is “doing” something and the practice of self care is an essential to the scheme of “doing”. Do you allow yourself to stop? Do you see your definition of doing as being within all that you do, or constantly moving?
“It all depends on your perspective as well as your definition of the word. Let’s begin to get clear, re-wire and change it for the better.. so we limit that guilt trip! ”
I’m going to give you a scenario, the most common scenario of the guilt - health ratio, “I ate bad today, I feel so guilty”. Hands up (Cyber hands up) if this thought has ever crossed your mind, yep everyone’s hands are up! Any habit or intention within anything you do for yourself, comes from either a positive or negative focus. For our intentions and resulting actions to become guilty, they already have to be filled with a degree or percentage of guilt or a mindset of deprivation behind them.
Think about an action you never second guess for yourself, something that you automatically do with out even second guessing, whether it’s going to the bathroom, drinking water, getting changed, doing your job, walking, this is going to be different for everyone, but what is something you love and know that makes you happy that you don’t have to place guilt around doing it?
Getting more to the point now, in the connection to the scenario of guilty eating habits we want to build an awareness around our intentions and we want to keep them present! We place so much worry as well as restriction to be perfect within everything, in this case diet, that when we do actually break this trend it can present itself to be very intimidating or even failing for us. Yesterday is done, tomorrow hasn’t occurred, what is it right now that you can do for yourself? If you’re about to sit down for a meal, take 3 breathes, notice if you are actually hungry or you are craving something, notice your present emotions. Be strong within what you are about to do, if it is that bowl of hot chips needed after a big Saturday night, feel content within consuming them. Know that your nourishment comes easily when you place kindness around what you do for yourself not judgements. Try and try again, each time will get a little easier!
Let’s create a mindset of nourishment and positive intention. “Today I choose to nourish myself in all that I do” I ask you to take this thought with you this week and see how you begin to question your guilt with a positive reaction. So what ever you are feeling guilty about right now, is it present? Or is it in your past or future? Stick with the now and be kind to yourself!
I work with the everyday person around creating nourishing, mindful practices to create the best you! We will work together to address current areas within your life that you are wanting to change and through each session I will create you a detailed action plan to implement into your weeks! I’d love to work with you, click the button below to get in touch! Much love and health, Sammie x