Turning self shaming into self loving!
“ “You can’t love anything you’re ashamed of”, ”
Self Shaming has become second nature in today’s society, as a collective community in a social world, our initial reactions are to judge the differences in each other, which further more make us judge ourselves in comparison, either boosting our ego’s or bringing our true selves down. We have been sculpted by our surroundings to make aware what others should look, act and be like to have our conceptual approval, we begin to set standards, standards of conformity, standards of relativity to who we are and standards of commenting on those going beyond the norm of our sculpted reality, but are we truly judging others, or simply stating the core of our own insecurities that we haven’t dealt with?
Think about it, we’ve all done it. Anything we choose not too deal with ourselves, we will pick in others, whether it is body related for example; Oh I don’t like my legs, that person has nicer legs than me, that person is bigger than me.." we set out searching for similar security in the form of validation from others. This trending process is the same in any element, the way ours moods are, relationships with others, aspiring to work, identity, surrounding income and possessions, the list goes on, we shame everything we aren’t proud of, or don’t have complete understanding or closure around.
“The amount of time we spend on worrying about what we don’t like, the things we wish to have as well as the elements that we want to change about ourselves, we could’ve been spending creating and bringing about happiness.. so why all the self shame and sabotage?”
If you think negative, act negative and portray negativity that’s what you will receive, where as if you think positive, act positive and portray positivity in everything you do, that is was you will receive. Yes, yes, yes so cliche you may be thinking.. but trust me this ain't no joke.. it works!
The Shame game is a funny one, for me the above quote had a massive impact on my way of thinking, my routines, who I connect myself with, and over all how those factors were influenced completely on the way I was treating myself in reflection to my daily feelings around life. For years I put so much pressure on my body and my thoughts, I put it through compulsive unhealthy routines both physically and mentally, told myself that I was never good enough and connected myself with resulting energies coming back to me, I couldn’t love myself as I was ashamed of who I was, and further more couldn’t allow anyone in to love me, I became unlovable.
What do you put shame around? Do you shame yourself? It’s an easy thing to do, it’s almost a unconscious act, the ability to get something wrong, be a certain way or not obtain to what we desire can build the pressure factor, in the form of not being "perfect" perfect = an end out come of completion or potentially "winning" but is it long lasting and self sustaining, or fleeting?. How have you disconnected? What is it that you are pushing away in your reality that you aren’t confronting with in yourself? This may seem confusing, but it’s fact. The things we don’t like about ourselves, we depict in others. Build that awareness.. In order to receive what you want, you must treat yourself as well as others in the exact same manner, respect, acceptance and kindness in the process.. seeing others without judgement you will slowly stop judging yourself.
As easy it is to shame ourselves, it’s just as easy to change that thought process around. To stop become aware, and change the wording that we are bringing down others for, which truly we do not like or are insecure about ourselves, are these thoughts serving me any justice? There’s always that point in life when everything shows up at once in order for us to make changes, kindness to others, goes a long way in creating kindness towards ourselves.
For myself my focus was to start changing my self shaming antics, and put into practice the kindness in which I gave to others, back to myself. Changing your thoughts, de-tatching from situations and wording in which bring you to a place of not being settled with yourself, no matter what the situation, to bring about the opposing happy alternative. Our own suffering is brought on by the things we can’t come to terms with in a certain time, based on the things we are scared to let go of as well as the determining factors we are continuing to push away. Why are we pushing certain things away, we don't want to hear?
Confronting your fears.. stop and think of the situations you are clinging on to that aren’t serving you as well as the ones you are pushing away. The things we are ashamed of is our journey to confront aspects in which are keeping us in this deteriorating loop, how can you show up to build love and appreciation for what you have?
No matter what your situation is, tap in to how you are feeling, are you creating your own suffering, are you pushing it on to others and is this showing itself in your present life? Life is one big test, and it will continue to test you until you break your habits, it’s not about hiding from the things you are aware of, it’s about coming to confronting reasoning to make changes, or too choose to sit and live with these depleting feelings.. every.. single.. day.. this becomes absolutely draining, and boring really.. swap it up, cut the shaming and make your change!
“You can love everything you are proud of”, change the wording, change your attitude, and treat yourself kindly. Stop the shaming!